STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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