Whod you bang
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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