so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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