Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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