What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
