i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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