haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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