Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
