I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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