It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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