Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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