god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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