nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Please don't give away my fajitas
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
