North Korea, Best Korea!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize