He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
