so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
high people should be assigned attendants
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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