haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
