i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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