OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
