Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Let's get the cat blown out
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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