Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found a bag of teeth...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
