I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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