this just has baby written all over it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
