Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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