the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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