i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
