you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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