I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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