Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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