Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need to calm my uterus...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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