It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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