we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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