What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
