Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
