I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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