Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
