the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
