My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you would pick up someone in the library
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
