I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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