after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
