this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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