are you still at the devil's house?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
