The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
