I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
