Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
