come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
