i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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