dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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