you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
