i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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